SPARTAN (Iron Kings MC, #2) Page 15

  I moved back and it took him a few beats to take in everything I’d said. It was some heavy shit, for sure. “All right,” he finally said.

  Finn eyed me. “Deviant and I will get the club prepared to ride on a moment’s notice. We just need a location from you.”

  Yeah, all Finn’s contacts were dried up, because he was supposed to be dead.

  Jesse was outta commission and he was gonna be for a while. I weren’t gonna bring him back in on this, not until he was fully recovered. It was way too intense, way too stressful.

  It was on me, just like it had been the first time around.

  When Knox had betrayed me, I’d had to track him.

  My way took longer than Jesse’s, because I couldn’t hack into law enforcement surveillance feeds and all that. I had to do it another way, pull my resources and contacts.

  At least, this time, I had something more to go on, thanks to Jesse’s work. Knox had been at two other locations. It was a part of a trail that I could pick up and follow.

  It was only a matter of time.

  “I’ll find him,” I assured them.

  And then I’d end him.

  24

  ~Daniella~

  ALMOST DONE.

  I smiled at the final pile of clothes, toiletries and a few knickknacks that remained on my stripped bed.

  I’d come back to my little apartment in Ridgefield at the crack of dawn today to finish packing up the rest of my things. I had the morning to take care of it and then I needed to get back to work. I was waiting on feedback from the visionaries behind the burlesque project, before I could move any further with those designs. But I had my list of clients to call and touch base with to make it clear that I was well and truly back in business.

  At least my house had been taken care of and it was in more of a ship-shape state than it had been before my hiatus.

  Normally, that would’ve been something to celebrate. Getting back to my life, too. All of it.

  And, at first, it had been.

  Until the nightmares had started.

  Of course, it had crossed my mind that returning to the place where I’d been attacked and almost killed could’ve brought some negative psychological ramifications along for the ride. But I’d thought I’d escaped it, because I’d been fine for the first few nights.

  With things settling down, the house back up to par, Mosaic Designs back up and running, I figured that calming, settling down period had given them space to come at me.

  It begged the question as to whether I could remain there now.

  I’d thought the pain and suffering of the past had been over and done with, that I could just slide back in to where I had been, into the exact life I’d left behind. It was foolish, because I wasn’t the same person I had been. I’d changed, evolved, really, since I’d come to Ridgefield. I’d had to adapt dramatically and aspects of that had stayed with me. I’d been a part of a different world in this small town, all the people I’d met had had an impact on me.

  The truth was, I didn’t know where I truly belonged now, what my life should be.

  Maybe it was just a matter of time. Everything had been so busy and rushed since Don had stopped being a threat. I just needed a little while to catch my breath.

  At least, I hoped that was all it was.

  A sudden knock at the door pulled me from my maudlin thoughts.

  Stepping back from the final stage of my packing, I headed out of the bedroom and walked to the front door.

  I looked through the peephole and drew back sharply when I saw who my visitor was.

  Scott.

  Talk about a shock to the system.

  Bracing myself, I sucked in a calming breath, then opened the door, trying to put forward a casual, unaffected demeanor.

  He wasn’t exactly making it easy to put on anything even close to a casual air. Just standing there on my doorstep without doing or saying anything at all, he was dripping with sex. The way his dark jeans and muscle tee clung to his ripped body, that delicious ink that I wanted to lick all over whenever I laid eyes on it. His cut signifying the power he held and wielded so well.

  But his appearance was just the cherry on top of everything else that he brought to the table, of the incredible man that he was. The way his striking slate-gray eyes looked into mine warmed me in such an all-encompassing way. I’d never felt anything close to that from any man before.

  And the saddest part about this whole thing was that I just knew that I never would with anyone else. He treated me with such reverence also, like I was the most precious thing in the world to him. At the same time, he also treated me like a partner, not just something to be protected and pushed off to the side. I knew that he’d worked hard to get to that point. I was aware that he’d had a very different relationship with his wife, one where she’d been pretty much wholly dependent on him. But she’d wanted it that way, wanted to be taken care of to that extreme. I’d made it clear with my fiery, no-nonsense personality that I absolutely didn’t want that kind of treatment. And Scott had found a way to work with that. He respected that, he respected me and accepted everything about me, just as I did with him.

  But then everything had been fractured with this pause he’d insisted on implementing.

  And it hurt.

  It hurt so much.

  It had cut right through the amazing relationship that we’d been building.

  Despite my success of numbing my feelings over it all by keeping busy, having him here standing at my door now had all of that crumbling in an instant, all the pain threatening to get the best of me, pushing me to snap and lose myself to it all.

  I only just managed a greeting and even that came out like a croak. “Scott… hi.”

  “Love,” he returned.

  I winced at that endearment rolling off his tongue so easily as though everything was fine between us.

  I saw him register that it’d impacted me. “Sorry,” he offered immediately. “It’s a reflex.”

  Urgh. Him being so thoughtful and chivalrous really wasn’t helping to make the whole situation between us any easier. It would probably have been better if he’d been a jerk about it.

  But that wasn’t the kind of man that Scott Tate was.

  I shifted my weight and tried to focus only on the immediate, as I asked, “So, why are you here?”

  “You all right being back at that house? The last time you were there, Don—”

  “Fine. I’m fine,” I cut in quickly. That was the last thing I wanted to talk about. And I couldn’t with him. Not now, not with the way things were between us. I couldn’t open up and let myself be vulnerable like that. I shifted the subject quickly, asking, “How did you even know I was here?”

  “Chris and Alex let me know you were back in town.”

  I frowned, thinking on it. It hit me quickly enough as I put two and two together. “Right, the prospects you have watching my place.”

  “Ain’t just watching your house. They’re watching wherever you are,” he clarified.

  “Yeah, Sky explained it to me. You protect your assets.” There was a bite to my words, but I just hadn’t been able to hold it back. It pissed me off that he’d broken things off between us, yet he was being all protective and overbearing at the same time, just using his guys to do it, rather than him directly.

  “The club does protect its important business assets, yeah. So, when there’s a security issue, or any kinda threat on the horizon, we take action.” He stepped up to me, his intense gaze burning into mine, holding me captive, as he went on, “But you know you’re way more than a fucking asset to me, love. I just can’t be telling nobody that, so I gotta use the business asset excuse right now. It’s for your own safety. You being linked to me right now ain’t a sound idea, not one fucking bit.”

  Holding up my hands, I stepped back. “Stop. I know all the reasons for you ending things between us. I don’t need to hear you rehash it all. It was painful enough the first time around.”

/>   “I ain’t wanting to hurt you, Dani. I just want you safe.”

  “Stop!” I snapped. “I can’t… I can’t have this care from you one minute, then absolutely nothing the next. It’s too hard, okay? It’s one way or the other, Scott! Do you get that?”

  Drawing back, he scrubbed his hand over his bristly jaw and ground out, “Yeah, I get it.”

  I’d never seen him so out of sorts and pained. It was clear he’d barely been able to get the words out.

  But I couldn’t take that on, not on top of my own grief over the way things were—or weren’t—between us. I couldn’t let myself care like that and get pulled in deeper.

  I straightened my shoulders and demanded, “Just tell me why you’re here, what you need. I’m busy.”

  His gaze locked with mine. “I wanted to set eyes on you, see for myself how you were.”

  “Scott!” Shoving my hand roughly through my hair, I said, “We’re not together. That was your decision, which you gave me basically no say over. You can’t just drop back into my life whenever the need strikes you. I can’t have only a part of you. Right now, that’s all you’ve got to give.” I sighed heavily. “Trying to build something together was stupid anyway. You can’t love me while you’re holding onto so much hate for Knox. It’s tying you too tightly to your past. And while that’s the case, there’s no hope for building a future. It was all just an illusion. We were both being too optimistic. Fools.”

  I watched him taking my heavy words in. I knew how brutal they were, but he’d given me little choice. There had to be boundaries, rules.

  At least that was what I’d intended on putting out there.

  Him moving closer to me, that intense gaze of his smoldering at full force told me I’d missed my mark.

  He reached out and touched the white-gold chain around my neck.

  “You really believe all that, there being no future for us, no place for us, then why you wearing this?”

  He drew the chain up and eased the pendant free from where it’d been hiding nestled beneath my vibrant-blue off-the-shoulder top.

  The jeweled tulip he’d gifted me.

  Shit.

  “Well?” he pressed.

  Batting his fingers away and tucking it back under my top, I bit back, “It matches my outfit.”

  He shook his head, not believing me for a second. “Nah,” he said. “Plus, we ain’t over or nothing. We’re just on hold. I gotta take care of this threat and to do that my mind’s gotta be clear and I gotta know I ain’t pulling you into danger and into their orbit by making you my woman.”

  I couldn’t hear this right now.

  “Staying away from you and not talking or having any contact is hard enough. A pause versus being broken up is just semantics, Scott. Either way, we’re not together right now. So, you can’t do this. You can’t just come by and see me whenever you can’t take the distance between us any longer. It’s not fair.”

  “I ain’t finished.”

  “Finished what?”

  “Telling you why I’m here.”

  “So, you did come here for something then?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

  I searched my mind, trying to figure out what on earth it could be. Only one thing came to mind. “Our meeting about the burlesque clubs job isn’t until tomorrow. We’ll talk then.” Sky would be there too, so I wouldn’t be alone with him, thankfully. It would be easier to relegate things to purely business, to keep my head on straight and my emotions in check.

  He took a step closer to me, the urgency all over his face taking me aback. The last time I’d seen him like that was when we’d first slept together and he’d been struggling to contain himself and hold onto his infamous control.

  He’d been so certain about the need to pause things between us, that I hadn’t even considered that he’d been struggling with it too. Was that what was happening here? Was his resolve crumbling?

  “Scott?” I asked, tentatively.

  Scrubbing his hand over the rough stubble plaguing his jaw, he shifted his weight, looking more uncomfortable than I’d ever thought possible for a man usually so forthright and sure of himself. “I figured if I cooled things off with us, then I could get my head clear. I thought it would get my eagle-eyed focus back, so there’d be no chance of another fucking mistake like the whole Jesse thing going down again. Keeping shit separate… my personal life and my stuff with the club… it was supposed to make thing simple, to clear the way to just deal with Knox and those fuckers he’s hired as fast as goddamn possible. But it ain’t worked out that way.”

  “What?”

  “My mind ain’t been clear, love. It’s been fucking full of you.”

  Oh.

  He went on, “Knowing you were back in Ridgefield today did a number on me. Coming by here at all in broad daylight was a risk, basically sending the message that we’re hooking up or something. But I still did it anyway. The pull to you is… intense. I spent years learning how to compartmentalize, Dani. But somehow, you blow that all to pieces. I can’t do it with you. I ain’t focused. I ain’t together. Feels like I’m losing my goddamn mind over you. Us being apart is way worse.”

  “Well, I’m just here to pack up a few things and I’ll be on my way, so you can relax.”

  He shook his head. “You ain’t getting it.”

  “What else do you want from me then?” I blurted out. “I’m keeping away. I haven’t contacted you. Yeah, we have a business meeting tomorrow, but you can send a proxy if it’s such an inconvenience to be around me and—”

  He reached out and gently took my hand, the sudden contact cutting off my ability to speak for a good few moments. God, his touch was too much. I wanted it too much. And I couldn’t allow myself to.

  But before I could even think about pulling my hand free, his words had me transfixed, as he confessed, “I made a mistake. All right? That’s what I’m trying to tell you here.”

  “You… what?”

  Gently stroking my fingers with his thumb as he held my hand between us, he said, “It never shoulda been one or the other. You or the club. It’s gotta be both. I thought doing it this way would be easier on both of us. But it ain’t. Not for me and I can see real clear from the hurt all over you that it ain’t for you neither.”

  I started shaking my head and pulled my hand away. “Scott, I—”

  “I love you, Dani. I fucking love you.”

  Oh. My. God.

  “You’re mine,” he continued. “And there’s always gonna be something with the life I live, the world I’m caught up in. I gotta deal with that here and now, not wait until this is all over, because there’s probably gonna be something else down the road. I know you accept that about me and you’re completely down with Iron Kings and that way of life. I gotta do the same. You ain’t helpless, far from it. You handled Don when he came at you and now Finn’s trained you too. I gotta… chill. I gotta trust in us, trust in you.” He smiled. “I’m ready to do all that. I want you by my side. Want you not just as my Old Lady, but as my partner.” His hands slid around my waist loosely, warily, until he was certain I was right there with him. “I’m sorry I went the wrong route with us. I just—”

  “Freaked?”

  A bittersweet smile ghosted his lips. “Yeah,” he admitted. “Big time.”

  I didn’t want to be a pushover. I wasn’t a pushover. I’d already dealt with Don making me feel like that and I’d sworn to myself that I’d never let anyone make me feel like that again.

  That was my pride as well as the self-preservationist in me talking.

  But I’d never thought Scott saw me that way. I knew he didn’t want me to feel that way either, in any aspect of my life, to anyone. For goodness sake, he’d set up training for me with one of his best guys just so I could rise above that and restore my confidence and self-esteem that’d taken a major hit at the time thanks to everything I’d been through.

  Even his speech just now had disproved any intention like that.r />
  Partner. He’d called me his partner, making it clear he’d evolved past the setup he’d had before as a married man. He wanted something more, something stronger.

  He wanted me and everything that came along with that.

  Plus, he hadn’t done any of this to hurt me.

  His past had just consumed him and messed with his head in a major way. He’d stumbled. But now he was back on track.

  Even admitting that he’d made a mistake was a huge deal. Scott was a commanding, seemingly infallible king of tough, hard-ass men. Mistakes weren’t really a part of their vocabulary. But Scott transcended that alpha male attitude. He overrode any negative connotations of that. He was something special, extremely special.

  And that was why, instead of a tirade, or any sort of reprimand, I merely smiled up at him and admitted, “I love you too.”

  His arms were around me in the next second, wrapping me up tightly in his warmth. “I’m open, love. All the way. I ain’t never gonna pull this shit on you again. You got my word.”

  “I know,” I said, nuzzling against him.

  And I did know.

  I trusted him like no other.

  I trusted in us.

  We were going to be okay.

  25

  ~Daniella~

  MY BACK HIT THE WALL.

  Scott’s hands came down either side of my head, boxing me in and looming over me in that deliciously dominating way of his that always had my core clenching, my pussy weeping with excitement and anticipation.

  “Mmm. You smell good,” he groaned, breathing me in. “Taste so fucking good, feel fucking amazing.” He kissed me again, sliding his tongue into my mouth. I grasped the back of his head, digging my nails into his scalp and eliciting a sexy growl of appreciation from him that spurred me on all the more. I escalated the kiss, giving as good as I got, wanting more, desperate as all hell for more.